2/16/2011 I saw Dave Chapelle last night. I was one of 13 people in the audience. It was incredible. He is amazingly funny and quick on the up take. He turned anything the audience gave him into gold. It was probably the most awesome experience I've had in Comedy. I'm glad I was there!
2/12/2011
Atta boy Arkansas!!!
7/25/2010 Working
Lately I've been a bit laxed about updating the site because I've been hard at work on That Thing on Cable. It's gonna be a good show. I can't wait to see what happens with it. Since the last time I went to Chelsea Handlers House for the 4th of July. I saw Louie Anderson and Louis C.K. perform. Both are outstanding comics. I have much work to do to get to that level of hilarity.
6/7/2010 New Mexico
I went to New Mexico
5/24/2010 Cross Country
My wife and I are hitting the road. First stop Wilmington NC for the Cape Fear Comedy Festival on Wednesday. Then Atlanta, Dallas, Little Rock, Albuquerque, Phoenix then final destination Los Angeles. My wife is on her period. I hope I survive!
4/8/2010 Kentucky
I went to Kentucky...
3/14/2010 Abrio's
It turns out an old Damon's turns into a great comedy venue. Thanks Athens Ohio for being kind and fun. I hope to be posting video of the show soon. Stay tuned to the website. I'm doing a couple of radio shows on Tuesday and I will be posting that madness as soon as its available. Thanks for taking your time to check out the website. Tell your friends!
3/12/2010 Summary
Last Comic Standing is a bunch of BS. Some people camped out 3 days and didn't get seen at the LA audition. They may have saw 50 to 75 comics out of a line of 250 plus. I think when they call it Last Comic Standing they are talking about the last dude on the sidewalk. It was an open call for freaks who like to play dress up. Don't get me wrong if I had an appointment I would do it again but never again in the line. Pauly Shore bummed a cigarette from me. I was like whoa budddy. My rental car got towed. They had it for an hour and total after everything it was about $400 bucks. I don't see how CA is broke. I won a competition at the Other Place in Anaheim. Boner from Growing Pains and Corey Haim died. So all in all I would call the trip a success. Romainians and Russians please email me and tell me about yourself.
2/24/2010 Buckin Comedy Throwdown!
I went to Gibson's Grill in Richmond VA for a competition. It was a really fun show and the Richmond comics are cool dudes. I wasn't sure heading into this show what exactly Buckin is but now I know. It's improvised comedy with everyone on stage. That was fun. I hope to do things like that more often to keep sharp. Buck yeah cock bucker! I won the competition and am slated compete again sometime in September at the Richmond Comedy Festival! First Laugh Entertainment co-founder Mike Smart had a great set and came in a close 2nd place. He had me worried. Thanks Kenny Wingle for having me on the show. Erik Myers headlined and crushed it with his super human comedic ability.
2/17/2010 Atlanta Comedy Festival 2010
Folks I just received word I've been accepted to the Atlanta Comedy Festival March 26th and 27th in Atlanta GA. I'm excited about it and will have details listed as soon as I know some!!
2/9/2010 MIck's
I drove through a blizzard tonight to tell jokes. Luckily Micks has loyal comedy fans that bear the weather as well. It was alot of fun until I got home and had to shovel a place to park. It was the 2nd blizzard in less than a week here in the DC area. That's unheard of! Three shows I was on got cancelled. My wife hates it when I can't "do the funnies" I start becoming critical of everything and am no fun to be around. Thanks for listening!
2/3/2010 Back from LA
It was an eventful trip to Hollywood. I won a competition at Auld Dubliner in Tustin Ca and placed 2nd at the Other Place in Anaheim to a fellow Virginia comic Henry Brown. I was more happy about the 2nd place finish. It's pretty cool when two dudes from VA come in and take the top two spots. I saw Rowdy Roddy Piper body slam PJ Stansbury and choke out a marine at the Comedy Store. I saw Jaleel White aka Urkel at a Tea Shop. Suge Knight walked by me. I told Baller that and he asked how I knew it was Suge Knight. When that dude walks by you you know who it is. I got in 22 mics and had alot of fun. I'm really lucky to have great people out there to help me like John Clark , Munch, The Comedy Store Employees, Henry Brown, Grant Cotter, The Bentley Bunch and I am missing many. I will try to elaborate on some of this stuff a little later. Stay tuned.
1/15/2010 Blue Nile Ethiopian Restaurant
Tonight was a fun show. It was also the first time I have ever eaten ethiopian cuisine. I had a siga steak. I was told it was something like a cheesesteak. I guess that could be a description. Everything they served looked like it was already processed by someones body. (That's a poop joke) I see why ethiopians are skinny though. You end up leaving half of the food on the plate. The show itself was a blast. Thanks Harrisonburg. See you soon!!
1/11/2010 EK the DJ
Thanks Eric for helping me get this CD together. Thanks Mary for killing Nazi Zombies on XBox with me while we waited. Thanks Rose for the waffle. My debut album "This Bitch could Be you" will be available soon.
1/8/2010 Liberty Laughs
I recorded my set tonight to make a CD. I think it went okay. I will find out in editing. Please stay tuned for its release date!
12/26/2009 Law Commercial
I just saw a commercial for a law office that said "If you're a woman who has taken Paxil an anti depressant during pregnancy and had a child with a heart or lung defect call the law firm of blankety blank blank." (I'm not plugging those ambulance chasers) If you had a child with health issues caused by paxil please call them but continue taking the Paxil cause thats depressing.
12/24/2009 Happy Holidays
Happy Holidays!
12/16/2009 home
I got in 21 shows in 9 days this past trip to LA. Hustlin trying to do the damn thing. I couldn't ask for a more rewarding career. People think standup is easy. Those are the folks who haven't waited hours and hours to tell jokes to the two remaining people in the club. I rock those rooms. Paying your dues is necessary but not fun!
11/22/2009 two nineteen
I hosted a show at 219 this evening and it was a good one. Courtney, Colby and Pate did time and Seaton Smith closed the show. 219 is a 5 star restaurant and apparently frowns on getting their patrons to talk about juggling your balls. That was last week and necessary.
11/21/2009 Arlington Grill
I didn't get on until after midnight but the beaten to death crowd was hospitable. I enjoyed myself and got out the new jokes I wanted to. Success.
11/18/2009 Pittsburgh Funnybone
Tonight was one of those nights that test you as a comedian. LA comics Rob Christensen and Colby Dant are on tour and invited me to be on their show at the Pittsburgh Funnybone. I won't turn down an opportunity to perform at any Funnybone. It is a nice club decorated with famous paintings with the faces changed to famous comedians. They had the last supper, old couple with pitchfork and the one on the top of the Sistine chapel with God reaching out to a ripped up Adam Sandler. We drove 4.5 hours to get there and one of the Pittsburgh comics decided to play a joke and tell us we couldn't have any time. Rob is from Brooklyn and is not opposed to choking someone. Luckily he didn't. Dude came over and said he was kidding and that we would get stage time. My slot was timed out perfectly with the tabs being passed out. That really doesn't help your set. Once they finished their gratuity math the crowd was with me and I did well. Rob and Colby also had good sets. So far so good. Rob flew into Brooklyn and bought a car for the tour. We found out the gas light is not operational. Colby and I walked down 495 for a bit before we saw Rob pass us in the with his hazzards on. This was the time the Verizon network decided to ditch me and wouldn't let me answer or call anyone. There were two gas stations right off the exit but both were closed. Fuckers. We pushed the car into a parking lot. A lady pulled into the parking lot and left immediately. I don't blame her. Three dudes in hoodies at 3 am can be scary. We checked the GPS and walked down Telegraph road. We finally found a gas station that was open and grabbed some gas and walked back to the car. I blame the Steelers! Fuck you Roethlisberger!!!
10/16/2009 misc
Since my last update much has happened. I offended a bunch of woman in front of HBO execs, I got kicked off the Laugh Factory stage, I did a show in front of a kindegartener, I saw Martin Lawrence and Rob Schneider, I did sound at the Comedy Store for the Barris Kennedy Overdrive, I saw Jimmy Kimmel Live in person motorhead was the guest. I will try to explain these events further but I only have time to do one. I had a show on a Saturday night at the Hollywood Improv. Thanks Stroy Moyd. An HBO executive was in attendance. I was told that 20 pornstars would be in the audience. Only 2 showed up but there were many woman dressed as if they could've been in the porn industry, hey it's California. I changed my planned set to something a bit more edgy to cater to pornstars. Then I proceeded to offend these kind, sluttily dressed non-porn woman. The lesson learned is don't assume whorish looking woman in LA are hoes because they are most likely just dirty sluts.
8/1/2009 Lynard Skynard
I closed the show tonight at the Tavern in Fredericksburg. The audience was small because of a Lynard Skynard Kid Rock concert. If that wasn't bad enough Paul McCartney was in town as well. The audience was small, attentive and fun. Thanks folks for supporting live comedy. Christina Irene performed tonight. I told her I was originally from Harrisburg PA. It turns out she was born at the same hospital as me. The world is truely a small place. My mom crapped me out a year later than her's though. It could've been the same bed and same doctor. Then 28 years later we meet up and do a show in front of people. People who didn't know Lynard Skynard was in town.
7/24/2009 Smokey tones
I did a show at Smokey Bones in Fredericksburg tonight. It was a solid line up but there were too many people either without seats or behind a wall. That encourages the audience to talk. I did work tonight to grab their attention. I think that is the most I've moved ever doing my act. Thank you loud talkers for helping me learn. I asked for a moment of silence for 9/11 and some people still talked through that. Damn Terrorists. I sold 8 shirts though. All in all it was a good night for me.
7/23/2009 Home
I was in LA for 2 weeks and it is good to be home. I missed my wife and even the cats. I did 23 shows while I was out there but its nice to come back to VA. I did the Arlington Grill tonight which was fun. It feels good to get paid to do what you love!
7/16/2009 3 sets
I pulled off 3 sets today, the first one was a 3pm show at Verazzanos pizza. I bombed hard but I plugged away and made sure I covered my time. Those type of sets make you think about decisions you made in your life. It sucked but I had to keep going. The next place was Danny's Venice. I took the bullet and went first. In open mic comedy I don't think first is a bullet. It is the sweet spot that gets you to the next show faster. I didn't find out until right before I went on that it was PG material. That totally threw out any of the jokes I planned on working on. I did well despite the set back and redeemed myself from the earlier show. I went from there to Unurban Coffee and by the time I got up only 4 people remained. I did my best and had those 4 people enjoying it. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!
7/13/2009 Comedy Store
Carlos Mencia was a walk in tonight. He was a great performer! I'm not sure if they were his jokes but he performed them well. I enjoyed his set. Don Barris was upset because he went past the light by an hour. The Barris Kennedy Overdrive is the hottest band in LA!
7/11/2009 Westside Theater Comedy Festival
Thanks Westside for a great show! I hope to be posting video of that soon!
6/23/2009 Weyones
Thanks Weyones for letting me be a part of what you call a comedy show. The fart noises and boos from the DJ booth made it the most high class show I have ever been a part of. Keep up the good work!!
6/15/2009 Smokey Bonin
I did a show at Smokey Bones. That place makes me want to smoke cigarettes. I bought a pack and my wife told me if I ever do that again she is going to flick my nuts with a rubber band. what if I like to be flicked in the nuts. I don't think I do but I don't want to try it just in case. I could end up like Kung Fu Legend Continues Star David Carradine
6/4/2009 Another day in LA
I hit the Ha Ha Cafe for an open mic and was also on the Laff Mobb show put on by Def Jam later in the evening. The open mic ended up being great aside from paying $5 dollars to perform. The Laff Mobb show not so much. There were about 9 people there when I got on stage. No matter how well you do with 9 people in the audience it still feels like bombing. I tryed out a couple of new jokes have the potential to be dynomite. Life is good. Tomorrow I will hang out at the beach, do two mics and hang out at the Comedy Store. Thank you Mitzi Shore for making that available to me. I asked one of the employees how often Pauly Shore drops in and she said once a week. "He's no fun! He's dry. He doesn't drink or smoke." Pauly Shore doesn't do drugs. That's crazy buuuddddy!
6/1/2009 Thank you Comedy Store
I'm heading to LA for 10 days of hustling. I decided not to hit any mics the first night and hang out at the world famous Comedy Store. It was a birthday celebration for some of the employees. My timing couldn't have been better. By the end of the night I ended up in the green room of the main stage with some really cool people. They call it the green room for a reason. I'll let you do the math on that one. Bobby Lee from mad tv was playing the piano in the main room trying to swoon a hot lady. For awhile Bobby was sitting out front and I totally saw his butt crack. Not something I'm into but I definately thought about taking a picture and sending it to TMZ. I didn't though as I don't believe taking a pic of a famous buttcrack is the best form of networking.
5/27/2009 DMV's funniest comic
Thanks to Chris Hayes for the mic time at the Comedy Spot in Arlington. I advanced past the first round but unfortunately won't be able to defend myself at the next round because I will be in Los Angeles. I thought about changing my ticket to come home a bit early. I changed my mind quickly once I found out it would cost me $150 to do so. That's like 40% of my yearly income. I can't afford that. I did get a guest spot on the final show that will put a couple of bucks in my pocket which is cool. June 24th is the show date and technically I made the finals in a round about way so come out to support live comedy!
5/20/2009 Here!!!
My wife Lisa has been gripping at me daily since January to blog more often. Maybe I don't have anything to say or maybe I'm just busy. I can tell you readers that but Lisa isn't buying that crap. If I ever get anywhere with this comedy career it will be because of her slave driving.
It does look lame not to have blogged in almost 5 months. I promise to do better.
1/1/2009 Happy New Year
Sorry folks I've been too busy with the holidays to add any of my thoughts to the b log. New Years eve was my first anniversary with my lovely wife Lisa. People I know who have been married longer than I have been telling me "the honeymoon is over"! That's kind of funny because we are going on our honeymoon later this month. We weren't able to go immediately following our wedding because of Lisa's ass tumor. That's not the only reason we weren't able to go. I also had a broken wrist compliments of the best man. Who is also a police officer. It was somewhat cool to tell people a cop broke my wrist. They get inquisitive and wondering what kind of rad thing I did while breaking the law. It may be a let down when they find out we were both hammered and he likes mixed martial arts. He tackled me and I tried to get him to leave me alone by throwing some cock punches. I tried but none of them connected because I am not a marksmen. I wasn't able to button my pants on my wedding day. I had to ask Lisa for help. I told her that my arm was broke. She didn't believe me and told me to quit being a "pussyboy". She was wrong. I'm a pussyman! Needless to say 2009 has had a much better start than 2008!
12/16/2008 Bronx
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz (from the band Fallout Boy) had a baby and named it Bronx. Bronx is going to one day realize his name sucks. It could be worse, his name could have been Queens or Hoboken. But I don't feel bad for him for having a horrible name. I do feel bad for him because I know his mom is going to lipsync his lullabyes and his dad wears more eye liner than his mom and aunt combined. The tabloids aren't willing to pay to get pics of little Bronx because nobody cares. I don't think nobody cares. I think Angelina Jolie is bankrupting these tabloids with the amount of babies she's spitting out. Angelina Jolie should live in a shoe. That would be incredibly cool if she built herself a 10,000 sq ft Timberland. I wish Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz the best of luck with their new addition to their family. I'm calling it now - they'll get a divorce, Pete will be making huge child support payments, and will wish he changed his band name to Pullout Boy!!
12/12/2008 Secret Millionaire
I watched Fox's newest reality show "Secret Millionaire" last night. The show has a good premise, millionaires go to the ghetto undercover, meet people and donate money to those people. Sounds like a good way for a rich person to try and avoid hell. It took place in San Francisco's Tenderloin district. (Even the hood in San Fran sounds a bit fruity). How do muggings go down in the Tenderloin district? "Giving me all your money would be soooooo fabuloussss!! Just put it in manpurse! "
Back to the show, this secret millionaire guy is worth 300 million dollars. He donated 35k to two different shelters and 10k to two different ladies. That totals 90k dollars, which is a lot of money to me. In the scheme of things donating 90k when you have 300 million is like me giving someone a nickel. Giving 90k when you have 300M is like having a twenty piece chicken nugget and giving someone who really needed some chicken nuggets a punch to the kindney. I'm going to come out with a show called "Secret Genetalia". It'll be like the batchelorette except lesbian and the batchlorette is me with my penis taped back. My catch phrase will be I have a BIG secret to share with you!
12/11/2008 Wrinkley Facebook
I went to godaddy.com and did some domain name searches. I was saddened to learn wrinkleyfacebook.com, angryfacebook.com, sadfacebook.com, fartfacebook.com, butterfacebook.com, assfacebook.com, and dickfacebook.com were already purchased. I went to all of these websites and was more unnerved when I found out that none of these sites even have anything on it. What a waste! Get off you ass owner of wrinkleyfacebook.com and post something cool! That goes for you too butterfacebook.com! Put up a picture of a butterface on your homepage at the very least. Sorry folks I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to upload a picture of Fergie and Sarah Jessica Parker but their faces are so buttery they wouldn't stick to the page. I can't eat anything that is fergalishious because it has way too much butter on its face. These domain name owners need to do something with there websites! I better change the subject before I have a myocardial infarction! On a better note I was delighted to see that doodoofacebook.com, doodiefacebook.com, poofacebook.com and hairyfacebook.com are available. I think I'm going to go ahead and get hairyfacebook.com and have this guy as my mascot!
